Ooooh the Pain — Conditional Compilation Directives

I never use them. It does not feel right. Baking in environment specific information into your compiled code never sounded like a good idea. I want my code to behave the same way in all build configurations/environment. Development should not have code enabled that is not available to QA. That’s crazy!

If you want environment specific code use the provider model/pattern, use the web.config transformation, use a data driven configurations.

For heaven’s sake do not compile environment specific configurations into your code!

Ooooh the pain!

Chronic Contractor

This developer is always looking for a gig. There is always something better. Chronic Contractors are expensive. Mileage per dollar varies.

They have battled many and because of this they see problems. Something about every gig frustrates them.

Chronic Contractor tend to work in cutting edge technologies and loathe older “inferior” technologies. They have no allegiance, they don’t care if the ship sinks, another is waiting in the docks.

Insecurinator Developer

This developer refuses to find a better job. They have had only one job and they will not leave it — It’s the only breast they have fed from.

They are treated poorly, paid next to nothing yet they refuse look for greener pastures. They have an unlimited supply of excuses, they may even in principle agree to find a new job, but they never will.

Mini-Me Developer

This developer follows the King of the Hill Developer like fly’s to shit. This person is the voice of the King of the Hill Developer in the their absence. They developer similar mannerisms and will spout similar phrases used by the King of the Hill Developer. They will some day grow up to be a King of the Hill Developer.

King of the Hill Developer

Typically this developer has been in few organizations. They tend to be the smart frog in the small pond. When another smarter developer joins them, they try to subjugate them. Tactics include withholding information, passive put downs and excessive explaining.

King of the Hill Developers have all the answers, similar to the Go To developer, they have the grand scheme in their minds and only give information as needed. When idea’s arise that are better or will make them look bad they vigorously deny the validity of the idea.

Since they work in a royal vacuum, their designs and code tend to be flawed.